Grateful

to be able

After many drafts trying to post here.

I am just able to work, but I want to say something. It is deadline day. I wish I Were already done. But things have not gone as planned, as hoped, or as expected. Something always gets in the way of better, and it always gets done good enough.

I am working on a better update here update, but today I Was genuinely happy to have my blood drawn after a failed attempt yesterday.

For the past few weeks I have had pains that have made migraines seem easy.

It has been impossible to reach out or connect at times, as well as get basic things done. But we are still here.

The dogs are slower at times. And still playful as heck at others. I have genuine gratitude at times when things don’t make sense and I feel the worse physically than I ever have I think, for some time now.

Yesterday was the worst blood draw of my life, not because of anxiety or even pain, but I had both. Because they couldn’t get blood and I am desperate for answers. But I hydrated, and I worked through to get it.

After thinking you are in hell and cant take any more, not because your mindset is weak but because things keep coming, something has to give. In this case thank god it was something I could do, to get more tests.

I had genuine happiness and gratitude. Despite discomfort and no relief. We can train ourselves to naturally find gratitude.

Planning on sharing more about what is happening so people know and in case anyone can help.

Posted without review.

Image of Liv, yellow Labrador, in her action shot, running in a courtyard facing the camera smiling with both ears curled back.

Back to deadline day.